I was recently in a situation where it was really difficult to have a conversation because I was constantly interrupted.  There were several people in the business scenario and one of the group was a real “interrupter.”  It seemed that no matter who was speaking, what this person had to say was more important.

In addition, she had the bad habit of finishing everyone’s sentences for them.

Not only annoying, but rude.

A key component to good Business Etiquette is the ability to listen.  It’s even better to become an extraordinary listener.  If you are always telling everyone about something important to you, then you’ve missed the point of conversation and discussion – which is that everyone gets to participate.

Listening is such a rare skill that when people encounter a true “listener” they are amazed at what it’s like to be truly heard.  I find that listening is a way to honor someone, a way to put aside the chatter in my head and be present and a way to get outside of my own view.

It’s a goal of mine to listen…and to be heard.  But more about finding your voice and being heard in another post.

In the meantime, practice listening.  My husband thinks I’m a little scary right now, because he’s not used to me listening to him so intently.  But, I think he’s learning to like it!!!

Lynne Breil, www.theprofessionaledgeinc.com

Shout Out with a Comment:  What do you think about listening skills?

Lots of people have lost their jobs because of the crazy economic crisis, big business blunders and Wall St. corruption (can we call it that?).  So, there’s no shame in being on the unemployment rolls these days.  You have lots of company and therefore lots of competition for the available jobs.  Here are several tips to make the “job-hunting job” a little easier and give you a better shot at being successful.

Connect with all of your business colleagues, friends, family and anyone else you’ve bushed elbows with during the past two years.  But, don’t expect that they are going to get your job for you.  It’s important to keep people updated as you go through your search, not just at that freaked-out time at the beginning.  People want to feel like you’re doing your part and keeping them informed will help them know exactly what you’re looking for and they might even know the person that you’re about to interview with.  Lesson learned is that it’s important to connect with people and give to them long before you need to use the connection on your own behalf.

Consider upgrading your skill set.  If you were in your previous job for any length of time your skill set in areas not frequently used in your job may be rusty.  Take an inventory of your skills – people skills, technology, leadership, management, writing for example – and determine if there are areas that you could benefit from getting some extra training while you have some down time.

Don’t become invisible.  It’s important to get to the events you used to attend and stay in touch with the organizations you enjoyed in the past.  Being well connected doesn’t stop when you change jobs.  Staying well-connected is the healthiest thing you can do your entire career.  A great book on connecting is “Never Eat Alone.”  It’s a fun read and will give you some great tips on building your network.

In all of your job searching remember that business etiquette rules are still good to follow.  Knowing that good manners and behavior are always remembered and that rude behavior is never rewarded is always a good guide.

All the best and you will be successful!  Lynne

National Speaker’s Association Connections:

• NSA Fall Conference in Scottsdale, Arizona
• Currently serving as Program Chair for the DC Chapter of the NSA

Fall Speaking Events:

• Villanova University, Philadelphia, PA
• The Pennsylvania State University, York, PA campus
• Denstply International, York, Pa
• PA Credit Union Foundation, Pittsburgh, PA
• Central East Coast Connect Conference, Ocean City, NJ
• Lancaster Chamber Professional Women’s Forum, Lancaster, PA
• United States Department of Defense Executive Leadership Development Conference, Arlington, Va
• HSA Home Warranty, Madison, Wi
• Arcadia University, Philadelphia, PA
• Greenebaum Structures, Manheim, PA
• Sanofi Avnetis Pharmaceuticals, Bridgewater, NJ

Upcoming Events:

• Widener University, Chester, PA
• T.C. Jacoby & Company,  St. Louis, Mi
• Pennsylvania State House of Representatives Appropriations (Rep. Dwight Evans) Committee Staff Retreat, Valley Forge, Pa
• TIC Gums, Whitemarsh, Md
• Dentsply International, Geneva, Switzerland

Lynne Breil is pictured with Pennsylvania State University School of Law Juris Doctor Candidates from the Black Law Students Association, following a keynote business dining etiquette presentation to the Class of 2010.  Also pictured is Deb Ryerson, far right, Admissions Director.

Here is a press release I found about my CSP award!

 

The National Speakers Association Certifies 41 Speaking Professionals

(TEMPE, Ariz. – May 23, 2008) The National Speakers Association (NSA), the leading organization for professional speakers, is proud to announce that 41 professional speakers have earned the Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) designation in 2008.

Established in 1980, the CSP is the speaking profession’s international measure of speaking experience and skill. Fewer than 10 percent of the speakers who belong to the International Federation for Professional Speakers hold this professional   designation.

The CSP designation is conferred by the National Speakers Association (NSA) and the International Federation for Professional Speakers (IFFPS) only on accomplished professional speakers who have earned it by meeting strict criteria. CSPs must document a proven track record of continuing speaking experience and expertise as well as a commitment to ongoing education, outstanding client service and ethical behavior.  The 2008 class of CSPs will be honored during a ceremony on August 3rd at the NSA Convention in New York, NY.

“Earning your CSP takes a tremendous amount of commitment,” says 2007-08 NSA President Mark LeBlanc. “To be part of such an exclusive list of speakers who have earned this designation demonstrates that the speaker has withstood the test of time and competency.”

Consider this voice mail message…

“…uh…hi…this is…uh…Deb [no last name given]…with…uh… [couldn’t understand the name] Marketing. We…uh…sent you an invitation to a kick-off breakfast on ummm [long pause]…June 25^th. Uh…could you…uh…call us back and let us know if…uh…you will be there? …uh…the number is [now into speed mode] 123-4567 [no area code given]. Have a nice day!”

Yes, that was exactly what I heard…word for word. To avoid the ‘babble + blather factor’ in your voice mail messages, here are a few tips derived from the above botched attempt:

      Use your first and last name. In doing so, you’re giving yourself more credibility. What manager or upper level executive uses only their first name in their voice mail message? (Exception: if your personal security is a factor in what you do.)

      Speak clearly. Your name, your organization’s name, and your phone number are 3 vital components of the voice mail message, and it’s essential that they are clear and audible.

      Plan your message. How often do you get a voice mail instead of a live voice? Probably more that 75% of the time, right? So, it makes sense to pre-plan the details of your message, like dates, times, and specific points.

      Ask for follow up. Be direct in what you want as a result of your call, enabling the listener to decide what to do next.

      Leave your availability. Tell your recipient when you’re available for a return call. For example, “I’ll be in my office today until 3:00 PM. You can call me between 1 and 3.”

     Repeat your name and number slowly at the end of your message. What the caller hears first and last exerts the most influence.

Usually, employees are given manuals on how to operate their phone system, but they are not given specifics on the etiquette advantage of using a phone system. Remember, you can be a whiz at technology and operations, but in the end, it’s still people who matter the most.

A colleague of mine works for a U.S. manufacturing firm. One of his co-workers is a plant manager who recently accompanied him to Asia to visit clients and agents. The coworker, who previously had a military career, is quick to identify her Army experience and rank (she was a Major).

However, on this trip she may have gone overboard. As they were meeting with Asian client groups, they knew that in Asia the business dress code is more formal. Business suits in dark colors are most acceptable.

She arrived in the lobby of the hotel to meet the clients with appropriate business attire – a suit and conservative blouse. In lieu of a briefcase, she carried something alternatively; a camouflage backpack. The Asian clients attempted to appear as though they had not noticed, but it was obvious by the looks on their faces that her military apparel offended them. Botched!

When it comes to accessories, your choices speak volumes. Pay particular attention to shoes, pens, watches, and briefcases or portfolios. These items are usually the first things people notice. Make certain that yours do not send the wrong message.

Recently, I attended a so-called speed-networking session that tied into a conference.  Hoards of small-business persons with home-based businesses (I’m one of them) clamored to get into the session.  As they saw it – this was their golden (low cost) opportunity to ’sell their products or services.  (By the way, do you know anyone for whom speed dating has ever worked?…Just a thought.)

Here’s how the session worked: you sit opposite the person you’re meeting and you get 3 – 4 minutes to talk about your business.  Then a bell rings and it’s the other person’s turn to talk for 3 – 4 minutes about their business. And then you play musical chairs and meet the next person.

Hey – where’s the exchange here?  And what – pray tell me – are you accomplishing by talking for 3 solid minutes and trying to beat the bell before it’s the other person’s turn. (Did I mention that each speed networker used the same 3 – 4 minute spiel with each person they met?  Wake up.  One size doesn’t fit all.)

I even played ‘devil’s advocate’ with my partners by interrupting their ‘pitch’ to ask them questions like, “How did you get started in business?” or “It sounds like you’re really busy with buidling your business, what do you do in your leisure time?” 

They looked at me like I had three heads.

I even went as far as offering some help to them on how they could build their business based on what their sales pitch.  Again, I had three heads.  I’m sure they were thinking, “Why isn’t she talking about her business?”

I guess my speed-networking partners didn’t really understand that if you want others to talk about your business and provide referrals to you, you need to build relationships with them.  3 – 4 minutes doesn’t cut it.

I figured that at least my curiousity about their businesses would show them that I was attempting to start the relationship building process.

Relationship building takes time, patience and effort on your part.  It’s not about talk, talk, talking about your product or service in the now…or in the short term.  It’s about building mutually beneficial relationships with people and spreading great word of mouth for others.

Here’s a radical idea:  Do unto others as they would like to have done unto them.  The universal karma of networking magic will bring all of that back to you.  Try it – you’ve got nothing to lose.

Lynne

A colleague of mine passed along this ‘Botched’ interview example to me.

A former York College of PA student achieved a high level of success in the financial industry at an early age. Her hard work and having an excellent and dedicated mentor helped her move up to an elevated position with a company in Manhattan. Though she did not have her MBA, she nonetheless achieved a level of success and a long list of influential colleagues that many others would envy.

Much of her time was spent interviewing recent graduates for positions within her organization. Practically all interviewees came to her with MBAs, and many from prestigious universities.

One young man took a cavalier approach to his interview. Figuring that – with his MBA from Princeton – he certainly must know more than this (also young) female interviewer. He leaned back in his chair and smugly answered her questions. Then he asked one of his own: “Where did you get your MBA”, he asked. “Who’s asking the questions in this interview”, she replied.

Uh…er…botched…of the foot in mouth variety.

Lynne Breil

A couple of days ago, I received an e-mail – totally Botched! The e-mail was a response from a salesperson to whom I had made an online inquiry about a piece of office equipment advertised by the person’s company. It sounded like a good deal.  The salesperson – who I have never met or spoken to – responded back to me with an e-mail that caught me by surprise.

It must have been a slow day at the office for this person. The e-mail was a rambling 2 screens long, littered with run-on sentences, fragments, and misspelled words. Details about all of the products this provider sells were included in the information, and the eternal paragraph began with, “Someone should call me to at least talk about this…” They went on.

Other comments included, “I can quote on the fly from work or from my home…”, “I have no clue why it is like this but it is”, “I am as up front as anyone can be”, and “After hours of course I have church…or scouts…or family…” did I need to know this?

The salesperson ended the e-mail with, “I hope to hear from you or someone there”. And yes – you guessed it – no signature line. No way for me to easily get back to this person other than to initiate an e-mail ‘Reply’.

When it comes to e-mail messages I will offer this suggestion: remember that e-mail is not a substitute for face-to-face or telephone communication. Sometimes selling yourself or a product is best done the old fashioned way…pick up the phone or get in your car to make that initial contact or first impression.

And, since first impressions are lasting impressions, we bought our piece of office equipment elsewhere.

Lynne Breil

…go beyond a good impression to a great one!